Daxton’s birth story as written by his Mommy, Spring.
Daxtons birth story! Warning it is extremely long and might be offensive to some! This is filled with raw emotions (a little bad language) and it’s not sugar coated! This is the story of our fight to vba4c!
I feel like his story starts way back in October when he was conceived. As most of you likely know his conception date was the day his big brother died. (I’m not talking about sex I’m talking about the day he was created the day his egg and sperm united to start the process of creating my perfect little baby boy) I truly feel like at times he was my reason for living in those first few weeks and months. He was the only child no one else could take care of. Yes all of my kidos needed me but he couldn’t live without me!! I needed him as much as he needed me!
I puked so much, I lost 36 pounds those first months and at times I was so weak I couldn’t get out of bed for days on end. I went to several doctors and had lots of tests ran no one could tell me what was really wrong with me. They suggested experimental drugs, which I refused to put in my baby. I felt like I was barely alive at times. I needed iv fluids several times and twice was hospitalized! Yet somehow we got thru the first five months and things improved. Some wonderful friends gave me special teas and lots of loving advice that I truly believe saved both of us. My doctors called it voodoo juice, I call it golden miracle tea!
Fast forward to May 12, 2014. At just 31 weeks and some change I was told that my baby was failing to thrive in my womb and he needed to immediately be born via emergency csection. Lots of tears were shed that afternoon. I was scared, hurt and pissed! How could this be happening? More importantly how would my teeny tiny baby survive if he was so early, tiny and sick. After I was done crying and feeling sorry for myself ,about 15 minutes in a doctors office waiting room later, I decided if this was the hand I was dealt then I would play the game. I started researching everything I could find on his diagnosis. Siugr. A condition where an unborn fetus ( none of the literature calls them babies) fails to thrive and grow. The photos of these babies will break your heart and forever change your sole. I knew that my baby didn’t fit the diagnosis! I can’t explain it really other then to say I just knew. I refused the csection and opted to instead have twice weekly biophysical profiles to prove to the high risk OB and to my husband that I WAS RIGHT! Baby Daxton was not only surviving inside my body he was thriving! And so the story goes every Monday and Thursday the highrisk OB threatened me and told me I was killing my child. My OB stood by my side and told me I was a good mom and to keep up the good work! Daxton passed his biophysical profiles and proved he was growing and doing well!
I left home and moved to Wichita to be close to the hospital just in case on June 16th only going home for a few days over the weekend of the 20th-22nd.
Thursday June 26th I once again got sick. I puked and puked and puked. So much so that I begged my doctor for a refill on my anti nausea Meds AGAIN! I puked most of the afternoon and evening and around 8:30 pm my water broke.
I called my doctors after hours number and was told that I should go into the hospital as soon as possible. (As you most likely already know I’m not very good at following the rules so I dinked around and took my sweet time, I ate (oh my God!), I drank and entire 64 oz slushy (how dare I) and I took a shower. Finally at about 12:30 I managed to travel across the street to the hospital!
Once at the hospital I started freaking people out! The residents were very nervous. One of them flat told me I was putting my baby and my life at risk! He “informed” me of the risks of vbac and told me with so many scars not only could it not be successfully done but it was way more dangerous then a csection! My nurse never directly said anything negative to me but she rolled her eyes repeatedly every time I mentioned my plan. All and all it was what I expected, and I felt very prepared for this fight! I knew my doctor was on my side! I knew he would continue to support me and I knew I could birth this baby!
I was having a few contractions but nothing very strong so at 2 am the decision was made to slowly augment my labor with pitocion. Not ideal, not what I was hoping for, but a compromise I was willing to make to get the end result I wanted. For 5 hours I “labored” on pit. Contractions got pretty real and the fun began. At 6:45 my cervix start changing I was now a 5 and things were going great. Nice labor pattern every 2 1/2-3 minute contractions and I was almost enjoying them thanks to some pretty cool birth music and some serious self relaxation I had spent months practicing just for today, game time has begun!!
BUT WAIT!!! Day shift came in at 7 and a nurse came running in my room throwing her arms around and hair flipping! Apparently I was breaking all the rules, I wasn’t allowed pit, period! I was breaking the rules, so it was shut off. I spent the next 3 1/2 hours fighting my way out of the hospital.
Now I’m pissed! I’ve jumped thru the hoops, I’ve trained, planned, chosen my team, crossed my t’s and dotted my i’s! I choose the best caregivers! I choose the “best hospital” I got mad, I got really mad! I cried, I screamed, I stomped my feet and I ripped out my iv! This was not happening! Not now, not like this!!! My husband was mad at me, after all the residents told me I couldn’t leave I would kill my baby! The nurses told me I had to deliver, my water was broke I had until 8:30 pm no questions asked this had to happen and clearly the only way now was either to go into labor on my own with out augmentation of pit or to csection. I had no other choices. I felt as if I was being backed into a corner! What happens when I’m in a corner? I come out fighting!!!! This is NOT how MY birth is going down, no way…NO HOW!
I don’t like their options, so I’m going to find my own! My OB came in he apologized for misleading me he said he didn’t know, the nurses (who started the pit) apologize. Apparently no one knew of this rule. Cases like mine are rare, no one wants to vbac with 3+ scars and those who do aren’t puking their guts up causing rupture of membranes. It’s just so unusual no one knew. Not the three nurses who signed off on my iv lines, not the resident who ordered the pit and not my OB in charge of my care. Alas a rule is a rule and it can’t be done. Without the pit my contractions change. With the stress of the whole situation my “labor” is no more! Ok fine I’m done I’m outta here!
I argued with anyone who would listen I want OUT! I know the risks of leaving. I don’t care! I will find another doctor,I will go home and labor unattended and birth whenever it happens, I will find a nice veterinarian to deliver my baby, it’s not that much different, right? Ok I know I’m being silly! I know I won’t put my son in danger, I’m pissed!! I have done everything they asked! I have spent my entire pregnancy doing extra tests and driving 2 hours each direction to have MY TEAM at my birth! All I want is a chance! I can deal with a csection but not like this! Then it hits me! There just happens to be another hospital in this town, and my doctor who I love so much just happens to catch babies in said hospital! Plan B I want to go to the other hospital! I AM going to switch hospitals! Now saying this out loud made it plausible but I had to find a way to really make it happen. I’m not in labor (by the rules of the hospital) so I can just leave, right? WRONG!
Enter day shift nurses and residents! ” I can’t leave the hospital it’s not safe! ” ” you are putting the baby in danger, risking his life! ” “All that’s important is a healthy baby and a healthy mom. ” “A csection isn’t that bad!” “You’ve done this before. ” “We have a wonderful NICU here!” I heard it all, and I still demand to LEAVE!
I was having some contractions on my own, I can do this. In a better environment where I am comfortable I know I can do this! I am pushing this baby out no one is pulling him! I HAVE A WELL REHEARSED, THOUGHT OUT PLAN!
After arguing, pleading and finally begging the nurse assigned to me for day shift called my OB back in and he agreed to dismiss me. I am free to go and I am NOT signing out against my doctors advice!
My stress level was over the top, but I am optimistic at least now I have a chance! Hubby and I disagree, he wants me to stay after all everyone is convinced I am only prolonging the inevitable I will be a repeat csection at some point! From a daddy standpoint he just wants a healthy baby and mommy! Scare tactic is in full force! I don’t care I’m free to go to the other hospital and 100% sure I need out of this environment where I feel so boxed in. At around 10:30 I sign my discharge papers and walk out the door leaving lots of very angry medical staff in my wake! How dare I challenge them! Blah, blah, blah! I am going to do this!
I promise my doctor I will show up by noon for antibiotics because my membranes are now ruptured for more then 12 hours. As promised we drive straight to the hospital. I want to eat, I want to drink… I’m a good patient it’s hard but I follow the rules.
So we arrive at Via Christie St Joe and are checked in around 11. The nurses knew we were coming and even though I expected the Wesley staff to bad mouth me they did not! (One point for Wesley) in fact they were extremely vague with the calls made to St Joe. All they told them was I had had many csections and that I was unreasonably refusing standard of care treatment.
After discussing my wishes with my new and wonderfully supportive nursing care team I am super happy! This hospital is very supportive! The best part is my OB is still my doctor! I did make the resident a bit nervous. You could see it in his face, but he was supportive! He did tell me the risks of vbac but I already knew the risks and I was willing to take them. I discussed with the resident that I felt csection risks were down played and that those risks were equally as scary. The lessor of the evils is a vbac and I’m willing to except that things can go wrong. Informed consent signed! (I actually felt informed and that I was really allowed to make my own decision) dang it feels good to be here! This WAS the right choice!
Time flies when your doing paperwork! By the time all the admission paper work was done and I everything was signed it was almost 3pm.
The piddley contractions I was having have long since faded to tiny little, barely traceable, speed bumps on the monitor. At around 4 pm I go back on pit, this time with the staff and hospitals blessing, apparently low dose pit is safer on the other side of town.
Slowly the fluids run in and the contractions space out even more until nearly disappearing. Bump up the pit. Then bump it some more, and still more. Still nothing 🙁
My doctor comes in to check my cervix. Just maybe I’m dilating even though the contractions aren’t registering.
No such luck! In fact I am now only a 3. (I had been a 5 previously) my doctor says it’s just a tiny set back and it’s perfectly normal considering the morning we had. Let’s try a foley bulb inflated to 50cc. That will get me moving he says and so the bulb is placed. Bump up the pit.
7pm it’s been three hours since the foley was placed and my last check and the pit contractions are starting to hurt. Since the bulb is still in place… I’m not making cervical change. I’m starting to get discouraged and I have now been awake for over 36 hours. My nurse suggests trying some iv pain Meds to help me relax and get things going. At this point why not? It isn’t going to hurt anything. When your waiting on pain meds time ticks very slowly!!
8pm comes and finally the foley falls out. I am making progress!
At 9:30 my doctor checks my cervix it’s now a tight 5. Still 50% still very posterior. Bump up the pit. My pit is now at the max we agreed on 12. I’m not interested in rupture! I refuse to go up anymore! My doctor suggests an internal pressure monitor to see what the contractions are really doing and help gage the risk of rupture better.
My nurse and doctor sit down on my bed and explain to me that my contractions really aren’t strong based on the pressure monitor and they are 100% confident in adding more pit. I trust my doctor! More then I think I have ever trusted a doctor in my life I believe in this mans ability to help me and to stop me if I’m being stupid and putting baby in danger. His advice let’s keep going, so that’s what we do!
12pm comes and my pit is now at 20. I’m still a 5 and 50%.
2am still a 5 but now I’m 70%. Progress! My doctor and nurse throw a bedside party, it’s progress! My doctor suggests an epidural, I’ve never had one and it scars me so I refuse. He encourages me to relax! I’m very frustrated. I’ve been stalled for hours and starting to think this was all for nothing. I am after all no farther along then I was 20 hours ago! I start trying to wrap my head around a repeat section.
4 am my doctor checks me again. He attempts to stretch my cervix. It hurt like hell!! He was able to stretch me to a 5.5 again he suggests an epidural. Again I say I’m ok and I’m dealing well I really don’t want one.
4:30 am doc is back he trys stretching me again , holy crap the worse pain ever! It’s a 50 on a scale of 1-10. I can’t take it. I’ll take the epidural and then we will consider what to do next.
Crank up the iv fluids! Go pee and wait for the epidural to be placed. 5:05 am epi is in. Oh how nice it feels to not feel. I’m thinking I want a nap! I’ve been up for 2 days in less then an hour.
Doc comes in he says now that I can’t “feel” he’s going to be more aggressive and see if he can stretch me to a 6.
He checks my cervix and says so let’s have a baby, your a 9 and 100%! No way I said! Seriously? Yep! My nurse high fives me and says I told you this baby was coming out vaginally!
Now shit gets real!
Tear apart the bed
nurses, residents, more people then I can count.
I have an epidural so I, not even sure I can push?!?!? I can’t really feel my legs. I’m not sure I’m ready…
Oh My God pressure!
Are you ready yet? I need to push! Holy crap!
My nurse says ok ready when you are… Take a deep breath and push… 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 take a breath.
There’s his head . No way? Seriously??? I feel his head with my hand and this amazing power to push comes from some unknown location. His head is out, I can feel his little shoulder. A tiny little push and he is on my chest.
Kiss my butt Wesley! I just vba4c’d my baby boy!!!!